never just another day...

It's a day much like any other day. In many ways I am simply moving through the everydayness of life with little regard for what the last two years has brought. Working, paying rent, scheduling meetings, doing laundry...but in just as many ways the everydayness, even with it's often deeply satisfying rituals, will never be the same as it was this day two years ago. And that is why it is not, and never will be, just a day like any other day. It's difficult to see tragedy as turning point and somedays, when it feels like too much to handle, the tragedy feels more like a futility, a sadness for having chosen such a path. In these moments it has little to do with the accident, which feels more like a bump in the long road of this journey. Rather it seems to have more to do with the dream that I have given myself over to, which because of the accident has become even bigger and more meaningful than I could ever imagine. Sometimes it's this weight that keeps me going, keeps me pushing that big old stone up the hill. Some days though I sit, bewildered, on this boat and feel the absence of the true dream, which was never to rebuild a boat but to provide the rich experience of being on the water under sail to people who also want to think through their lives using the powerful metaphors of sailing. So, come hell or high water, Summer 2008 is the goal for these trips on Epilogue and the hope is that the story of this wild dream will only inform the stories that take place when she finally sets sail, with a boat load of dreams.