There is no other way to describe where I am in this process except rife with anxiety. The unfortunate coalescence of the chage of seasons and my penchant for broodery and rumination has manifested an upheaval of anxiety and depression that visit like the uninvited guests they always are. It's when every possible worst case scenario is gospel truth, hope fades and dreams become foolish pipe-dreams. In the past, these guest's visits would last only a few hours or days. However, the older I get, the more they take liberties.
Getting Epilogue painted has been the time/weather sensitive goal for weeks and we finally set up to spray the paint this weekend. I got up at 4:00am (my alarm was set for 4:40)and made my way up to the boat. From the begining, the stars were aligned (or God smiled, whichever you believe), the day held no pesky dew, no wind, and no unwelcomed visits from the Department of Enviornmental Quality to critique our methods. All of my assumptions about how that day would go were dashed and things went, for the most part, without a hitch.
There are flaws, there are bugs stuck in polyurethane for good, there are areas that will need touch up, there are spots I messed up and there are places only I will see and keep to myself as much as I can.
A friend once lamented my acquisition of this boat by saying, "she will be like a woman who leaves you over and over again and breaks your heart each time" While I scoffed initially, I'm begining to agree with him. Though each day I head up there, in pursuit of her wayward heart, she lures me in again with her wiles. This new paint job will (hopefully) lure me in like sailor to the sirens, unable to quit her despite the costs.
1 comment:
Damn if you don't sound like the great Odysseus. You are truly the hero of this narrative, and this speck in the great cloud of witnesses cannot help but be moved. (We'll try not to rain on you, my good man.)
Peace and good weather to you,
Jim C-D
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